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A Man?s Emotional Reaction to an Independent Woman: A Guy weighs in upon The Bachelorette Reality Television Episodes
She is the favorite topical centerpiece for women skilled in the fine art of casual light-hearted conversation. She is the favorite topic of chitchat among women all across America.
She is Trista, the Bachelorette. Trista was selected as a second runner up to finishing 1st place in the original ABC Reality program, The Bachelor. In the original ABC reality television program, The Bachelor, Amanda captured the heart of the Bachelor. Amanda was given the last rose, coveted by the remaining two finalists, Trista and Amanda. Trista left the show in tears.
Trista is back as The Bachelorette. Trista can help relieve competitive tension among groups of women coworker team members by becoming the topic of light-hearted casual conversation. Trista can energize a drab work atmosphere as women all across America engage in lively discussion about The Bachelorette ABC Reality Television show.
The hearts of women all across America flutter as women speculate upon which man?s heart Trista will break on Wednesday night by not giving a rose too. The hearts of women all across America flutter as women speculate which man will remain standing as a chivalrous night in shining armor competing for the heart of the fair beauty, Trista.
What does The Bachelorette Reality Television Show mean to a man? The Bachelorette is not as fun to watch as The Bachelor. It is more fun to watch a show with 25 beauty queen contestants and just one masculine jock. The many muscle bound jocks competing for Trista?s heart are clods who are annoying obstacles for a single guys who may be making mental notes to learn dating behaviors that can potentially please a raving beauty like Trista. I wonder if women who watch, The Bachelor episodes, tend to focus upon the gallant bachelor and block out the dainty foibles of women contestants?
What does the reality television show, The Bachelorette mean to a man? The Bachelorette reality television program provides unspoken underlying social commentary about the ever-changing gender based male and female roles played out among members of the opposite sex. How can a person understand the opposite sex if the opposite sex is constantly changing?
The Bachelorette reality television show makes clear and hits home one pivotal key point. Women are no longer passive creatures in terms of relationship issues. Women are now key decision makers in terms of relationship issues.
Historically, an assertive male tended to be attracted to passive females. In the evolutionary development of the human species, men broke their backs in hard labor pushing, lifting, and shoving big rocks and huge bulk processing machinery. Historically, men who broke their backs in hard labor pushing, lifting, and shoving big rocks and huge bulk machinery did not have time or energy for arbitration or negotiation pertaining to fine subtle points inherent within context of emotionally laden and volatile relationship issues. Thus, historically, men tended to be attracted to passive compliant females who accepted the dominant role played by the male.
In the 20th century, women began to assert their independence. Cigarette commercials aired on public television touted the famous slogan, ?We have come a long way, baby?. Another famous television cigarette commercial played a lyrical melody containing the verse, ?you can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never ever let him forget he is a man?.
As society moves forward into the information age we are gradually moving away from bulk manufacturing processes requiring enormous human labor and toil (expenditure of energy) to operate big huge cumbersome machinery. A decrease in the amount of human labor and toil to operate heavy bulk manufacturing machinery provides men more time and energy to explore emotional topics. The move away from heavy bulk manufacturing processes, providing men more free time to explore emotional topics, is currently facilitated by development of microelectronics and new discoveries in nanotechnology.
Women?s magazines and talk show television programs have steadily encouraged men to explore their emotions. Thus, I desire to write about an extremely emotional issue within the content of this feature article. Women should not be offended, as I am only following the advice of many women talk show host and magazine editors.
A word of warning, as I broach this emotionally laden hot topic pertaining to the independent woman and relationship issues. Jump back jack, and get ready for a breath-taking knock out punch like a swift kick from Kangaroo Jack ( http://kangaroojack.warnerbros.com/).
An issue that is a hot potato, in terms of relationships between men and women, is the issue of prenuptial agreements. Prenuptial agreements are legal arrangements between two people arbitrated before marriage with the help of a lawyer. A Prenuptial agreement is a clear concise legally binding lawful instrument that guides all issues pertaining to lawful settlement about how property will be divided in the event dissolution of the marriage (divorce) should become necessary.
Women tend to cry, ?if you need a prenuptial agreement you don?t trust me. And, if you don?t trust me, than you don?t love me. The marriage is therefore off?.
How can a woman possibly know how she will react to being in close daily confinement as well as sleeping for an extended period of time with the chosen marital partner? The man may have an annoying habit that a woman simply cannot live with. Marriage is difficult because it forces the human social animal to constantly put up a front of being socially refined and civilized even during those few precious moments reserved for very private personal times.
Divorce is always on the table for at least 10 to 20 years during the early stage of holy matrimony. After a 10 to 20 year period of successful wedded bliss the probability of divorce is gradually diminished or falls off the table. It may take anywhere from 10 to 20 years to build a strong harmonious marital relationship.
The ABC Reality television show, The Bachelorette, demonstrates women are no longer passive creatures in terms of relationship issues. If women are no longer passive creatures in terms of relationship issues men have more right to assert prenuptial agreements are a necessary prerequisite to marriage.
Traditionally, men have shouldered all the risk and responsibility for marriage. Women tend to be treated more favorably in divorce court.
The task of
selecting one person to become a lifetime partner as a mate is an extremely complex daunting task. Despite strong desire to find love and fulfillment in marriage, many men and women remain single all their natural lives due to complexity of finding and choosing the RIGHT person for a lifetime marital relationship.
Steven Carter and Julie Sokol wrote a New York Times bestseller entitled, Men Who Can?t Love: How To Recognize a Commitment Phobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart. The book Men Who Can?t Love by Steven Carter and Julie Sokol is an excellent book I highly recommend. The book Men Who Can?t Love: How To Recognize a Commitment Phobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart provides vital information to help women protect themselves from emotionally erratic commitment phobic men.
In all fairness it is only right from a male point of view to emphasize how difficult it is for a person to select a lifetime partner for a marital relationship. Traditionally, men shoulder most of the responsibility for starting and maintaining a relationship.
Socrates said, ?Know Thyself?. In order to know thy self a person has to be exposed to a wide variety of situations and life events. An exposure to a wide variety of life situations and events allows a person to develop a repertoire of new behaviors. A large percentage of the human population, who possess limited means and income, learn very little about themselves over a span of many decades.
Hence, it is easily understood how a person of average means and income may have difficulty selecting a lifetime marital partner. In the future, an increase in computation power combined with artificial intelligence may allow people to virtually experience a wide variety of life situations and events in a much shorter time frame, thus greatly expanding the horizons of an individual.
A man who knows very little about himself and possess a limited repertoire of refined social behavior may have to date several women during the course of a lifetime to discover who he wants to spend the rest of his natural life with on earth. Dating is a time intensive task. A man must juggle demands of an active social life and career. Many men may fear losing a female friend and therefore hide multiple relationships. Such men may be quickly branded as a ?player?.
Today, women are active independent decision makers. Reality television shows such as, The Bachelorette, make it amply clear that women are independent decision makers.
Why do men of average means and income have to shoulder all the responsibility for relationships? Why do men of average means and income have to shoulder all the risk of making a mistake selecting the wrong lifetime marital partner? Why do men of average income and means have to risk having their entire life crushed and demolished in divorce court?
In a highly competitive society with limited resources, we as a collective society vigorously try to create a class of people who are transformed into ?losers?. The members of society who fall into the ?loser? classification forfeit the right to own property and suffer a diminished financial capacity to enjoy new satisfying relationships.
The envy factor may operate in divorce courts to transform and reclassify men as ?losers?. In a highly competitive society with limited resources an individual who goes after the ?big money? has more opportunity to propagate and provide for offspring. The ability to propagate and provide for offspring requires liquidity and cash flow.
The need for liquidity and cash flow can translate into the envy factor in divorce court and allow men who make mistakes in relationships to become easy targets for reassignment to a ?loser? class of individuals. Generally, society wants to quickly slap the label of ?loser? upon somebody to increase available material resources to those in position to capitalize. Men who make mistakes in relationships become easy targets for reassignment to a ?loser? class of individuals because male sexual behavior is often viewed with suspicion.
A thorny complicated issue pertaining to divorce proceedings is the issue of child custody and support. Women who are given custodial care of children in divorce court have an advantage. The living expense for both the woman and child is a category of material goods that functionally overlap. A woman who may receive child support from an ex husband can use that money to pay such living expenses as rent. The woman benefits from the rent subsidy as well as the child thus the child effectively becomes a preferential choice of a roommate.
A woman may marry another man and still receive child support benefits. The ex husband who may not be earning a living wage may have to work an excessive amount of overtime to pay child support. The excessive amount of overtime restricts the amount of time the man is able to visit his children. It is understandable how some men may get frustrated, throw up their hands, and hit the open road toward a journey into homelessness.
If women are independent decision makers than courts should reevaluate the male and female role in divorce proceedings. Some women decide to have children by in vitro fertilization without the complexity of marriage. Such women take upon themselves complete total financial responsibility for children. If women have the option as decision makers to take upon themselves the financial responsibility of children outside marriage, then women who have children within marriage should likewise be held more accountable for their choice to have children.
Trista should bring up the topic of prenuptial agreements with her remaining beaus during the final Bachelorette television shows. Trista may eliminate all the Bachelor contenders and decide not to give the last rose to anyone.
About the Author
Author byline and Bio: Mark Gaffney is a contributing freelance writer. Mark has earned a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology with a concentration of coursework in physiology, biology, and computer science. Mark is in the process of trying to start a new Not-for-Profit Foundation entitled, Wonderful Life Foundation. Mark plans to submit his online work as a thesis project to earn his Doctorate (PhD.) degree and officially become a Nanotechnology Sociologist. Bookmark this page now and click here to review preliminary plans for organizational development of Wonderful Life Foundation currently published on www.ServeNet.org. ServeNet.org, Idealist.org, and Network-for-Good.org are associated with the government web site portal, www.freedomcorp.gov, an initiative of President George W. Bush to promote volunteerism and provide services to help Not-for-Profit organizations.
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